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Rurru Mipanochia

Rurru Mipanochia

Rurru Mipanochia

Text JF. Pierets    Artwork Rurru Mipanochia

 

Rurru Mipanochia is a 25 year old, Mexican illustrator. Her drawings represent ancient pre-Hispanic sexual deities, transvestites and transseksuals, in order to promote dissident sexualities and to create a visual questioning about beauty.

 

Can you tell me about your childhood?
I had a very nice childhood. My parents where really lovely to my sister and I. Mexico city is not always the safest place to live so they took good care of us and always tried to be open-minded and talk unprejudiced. Sometimes they where a bit too overprotecting but they were really afraid something like that happed to us. At school I was very shy and I never spoke a lot. I was a lonely girl-boy-thing. I was always tangled in my own imaginary world but I was always smiling. When I got to High school, I finally started being more outgoing and made lots of friends.

You are born and raised in Mexico but currently living in Berlin? How’s that for a cultural difference?
The truth is I really, really like Berlin. Just like Mexico City it’s a big metropolis, but with much less noise. The noise issue is still under my skin because I’m a very messy person and I talk very loud, so it’s funny that I feel at home here. I feel at ease and love the spirit of the city.

How did you end up in Berlin?
Well, I thought about that, but I don’t know! Can you believe that?  I just know that the first time I visited Berlin, I fell in love with it.

Your illustrations are based on the representation of she-males and pre-Hispanic deities. Do elaborate.
Most of my drawings represent ancient pre-Hispanic sexual deities like Tlazoltéotl, goddess of sexuality, Macuilxochtl, god’s pleasure and Huehuecóyotl, god of sexuality. And Mictlantecuhtli, in relation to the definition given by George Bataille on orgasm,  talking about it as a ‘tiny death’. I also try to illustrated some pre-Hispanic rites of sexual nature that Huastecos carried out. This civilization being the most sexual of all Mesoamerica. I draw transvestites, transsexuals, and sometimes characters wearing a strap on. I try to promote dissident sexualities and inviting the viewer not to feel guilty if they want to experience their sexuality in a different way of what is so-called ‘normal’. My characters used orthopedics and most are amputees. They have pimples, are very thin, have hair or are fat. I’m trying to created a visual questioning about beauty.

 

 

 

‘I want to show that people don’t have to feel bad about having deviating tastes or different sexual fantasies than others. I want to point out that there are many different types of bodies yet all of them can cause desire and give pleasure.’

You don’t have to be beautiful in order to be sexy?
Not at all!  Or it depends on how you define beauty. Beauty is very, very subjective. I think beauty goes beyond what is imposed as such. Everything can be beautiful, ‘ugliness’ can be beautiful.

What’s your fascination with amputations?
In Mesoamerican artifacts are several characters to be found that show absence or deformities in their lower extremities. It results in moral and transgressed behavior, mainly of sexual character. For the Nahuas as well as for other Mesoamerican groups, the body was of great importance and constituted a language that could only be read by the condition of the person. A twisted foot – or the absence of one – was a metaphor of sexual transgression. Examples are, amongst others, Tezcatlipoca, Cihuateotl and Xolotl.

You’re drawing girls with penises and boys with tits. What are your thoughts when it comes to gender?
Everyone is free to play with his or her own gender, it doesn’t matter if you have a pussy or a cock.

Your work is both funny, disturbing and you have to check a few times to get the whole picture. What are you aiming for? Do you have a certain message?
I want to show that people don’t have to feel bad about having deviating tastes or different sexual fantasies than others. I want to point out that there are many different types of bodies yet all of them can cause desire and give pleasure. I would love us all to try to accept everyone, just the way they are. Just the way we are. We’re not crazy if we don’t meet the standard criteria.

What’s your personal fetish?
Scars, leg braces, socks and boots make me go crazy!

In an interview you once said: I’m 25 and I love Nutella. How can someone sounding so innocent make these sexual, in your face, illustrations?
Hahahaha! Well, I do love Nutella very much! And, I don’t know… when people meet me for the very first time, they ask me the same question. They can’t believe that such a sweet and nice looking girl makes such drawings. Maybe it’s because I have always been very childish and look a bit stupid. But I like that, I like talking about sex in that innocent and funny way, like children do.

In what way did your work evolve?
It’s a gradual evolution. I began making copies of Egon Schiele and Aubrey Beardsley’s work – bad copies by the way – when I was about 18. Later on I started trying to make my own drawings based on what I read or imagined. Sometimes the inspiration came from friends’ sexual fantasies.

A weird question to someone of 25, but what does the future look like?
I always think: you only live once so why not do all that is forbidden? Of course without harming others, that goes without saying.

 

www.rurru.jimdo.com

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Meg Allen

Meg Allen

Meg Allen

Text JF. Pierets    Photos Meg Allen

 

In her series ‘Butch’, photographer Meg Allen shows a variety of women who fall under the category of more masculine than feminine. Over the years people have been given different names to lesbians, and being butch is yet another flavor of women. Another flavor of lesbian, which Allen captures in a very intense and fierce image. Her women are beautiful, strong and aren’t afraid to show their true colors. Honest, might be another way of putting it.

 

What’s in a name? 
Nothing really. The series was something I almost didn’t want to define. It isn’t a stereotypical thing and it isn’t just about short hair, or swagger, or a tomboy. For me butch means ‘on the masculine side’. That’s it really. Nothing more and nothing less. Just another categorization that can share definition with any other term within the umbrella of masculinity.  It’s what gender ends up being when you try to define it; an exaggerated version of itself. 

You like to let your pictures speak for themselves?
Exactly. I’m still exploring who I am as a photographer and an artist. This series is a chance to work within the queer community in a different way. And honestly, in the beginning it was just me, practicing my photography. Because I wanted to do portraits for professionals, I started asking my friends if they could sit for me. Yet the more people I photographed, the more I realized that I was capturing something I hadn’t seen before in art galleries or magazines. I put them up on my wall starting with 3 photographs, then 10, then 15. And all of a sudden I wanted to fill the whole room. Just to see what it felt like to look at a bunch of people who looked like me. Putting them together so concentrated, made me want to show the uniqueness of butch women in a way that glamorizes them in their natural habitat. The women aren’t mainstream yet their life could be anybody’s. 

Is gender a fashionable thing? 
I think people do wear gender like they wear fashion. For the most part everybody is somewhere in between both of those things. When you for example dress up for the opera or the ballet, you become this sophisticated, cultured, wealthy seeming thing. And that’s not just who you are, but it’s who you are in that moment. It’s so frivolous yet so important because people dress up every day. Some people say they don’t care but that’s also a statement. It’s part of their philosophy. I never wanted to wear dresses and that was a choice because I didn’t felt like I was a person who wears dresses. I was more adventurous. I felt handsome rather than pretty and strong versus coy. When you dress yourself, you’re making a statement. So I think it lies somewhere in there, constantly shifting and fluid. 

Is it a sign of the times? That gender is getting more fluid? 
Absolutely! I think it has been influenced by a lot of equality movements between the sexes and even between races. There is no hierarchy of human, where women are second rate to men. But ask anybody and they will give you their own definition of what it means to be male vs. female. Gender is such a complex thing. On one hand you have a description of your sex, your genitals, but attributes of masculine and feminine are something different. Gender becomes the more complicated version of whether you are man or woman. Americans have this exaggerated form of male and female. The men are hyper-masculine, rugged, handsome, strong and aren’t encouraged to cry. Yet in many parts of Europe, men are allowed to be who they are, rather than forced in a stereotype of what a man should be. I have a friend who is from Denmark and she was saying that they don’t have a word for butch, because gender isn’t strictly masculine males and feminine female. I thought that was both interesting and difficult to imagine. That there is no need to have this strict definition because gender actually isn’t polarized. I need to add that I’ve never been there, so I have to take her word for it. 

You take photographs of your friends. You have a lot of friends…
Well, it’s a big community here. I would say the first 30 people are definitely friends and people I’ve known over the years. Then when I had a show at the Lexington club in San Francisco, the series really sort of took off and a lot of people contacted me to be part of the project. There’s a big scene in San Francisco and the community here is huge. You really have to come over, it will blow your mind. 

How does it feel to be gay in San Francisco? 
Being gay in San Francisco hasn’t been a big deal since the 80’s, we’re super lucky to live in such a mecca. The straight people aren’t as phased by sexuality in San Francisco. People in San Francisco are more liberal about just about everything. As a country, we’re still behind on gay marriage but it’s going to the Supreme Court and they are about to make a ruling for it to be federally recognized across the US. So as far as the gay movement is concerned federally, things are changing quite a bit. That said, I feel very lucky to be born a gay person in a straight privileged world. I feel it gives us license to look differently at tradition and the way society wants you to be. It allows us to reinvent ourselves constantly, because there is no set path that we have to follow. Do we decide to marry? Do we duck the trends of fashion so we can feel more who we are and how we want to be seen in the world? I think most straight people don’t have that luxury. They are sort of guided along, ushered in to well-worn and accepted paths. Later on in life they might be disappointed because they didn’t realize there was so much more to choose from. Being gay pushes you out of certain traditions and suddenly reveals that the world is actually bigger than your own community’s traditions and is this crazy amazing place to explore. There are so many traditions that you can adopt from. So many other cultures and countries that can make you happy. When you are gay you are not just trudging along blindly, following the person in front of you, just because that’s what you’re supposed to do. You invent yourself by making your own choices. 

You’re still exploring who you are as a photographer. Is there a change you’re going to specialize in queer subjects? 
The fact that I’m gay and very alternative, gender wise will always influence my work. I won’t necessarily specialize in it but it will always be present in my work. I do love this theme though, and I love to make queer culture visible. One of the most amazing things people told me after seeing my ‘Butch’ series, was this straight guy who said he loved watching my pictures, because he never had the chance to really look. He always felt uncomfortable about staring at people who looked different and this gave him the opportunity to just stare and take it all in.  That’s what I love most about art. It has the capacity to take you on this journey and tell you a story about something you wouldn’t have seen otherwise. You’re able to loose yourself, as you’re looking at these other people, identifying with them and recognizing differences. There is this universal feeling of the human condition and that’s the part that I aim for; combining differences with familiarity, and making it not such a rigid rectilinear definition.

 

 

 

‘I feel very lucky to be born a gay person in a straight privileged world. I feel it gives us license to look differently at tradition and the way society wants you to be. It allows us to reinvent ourselves constantly, because there is no set path that we have to follow.’

You also consider it a time document.
A lot of people responded to these portraits, a lot of people felt seen and it’s a record in time about butch women feeling safe enough to do this. To let people look at them. There used to be a lot of violence against butch women, and the gay community in general, in the past and actually still to this day. Butches would get harassed a lot and therefor didn’t want any attention put on them. They didn’t want to be seen and just tried to blend into the world of masculinity and live their lives. The first people I asked to sit for me were really unsure but after they saw what I was doing, they could see that it was bigger than themselves. That I would make them feel comfortable and illuminate them in the proper light. I think it was the right time to make this series.

This project has gotten a lot of attention, what’s next? 
My next project is shooting portraits of transgender FTMs. Interesting thing is, that some people I’ve shot for ‘Butch’, also want to sit for this next one. I love that. It means they define themselves in multiple ways. Needless to say it’s going to be a completely different type of project and portraits, but I like the multiple identity factor. Definitions and stereotypes lose their power when you really try to nail it down so I aim to nuance my photographs. You can see that butch is not only about masculinity. It’s not because you are butch that you can’t be soft or fashionable.

I read somewhere that you want to make a book when you are at 117 portraits. What’s with the number?
I was very influenced by Annie Leibovitz as a young photographer. She did a lot of photographs for Vanity Fair and I love the way that is able to capture people. I admire that she could almost get into somebodies soul and bring it out in a picture. That’s an amazing thing to do. I think that’s also what I like about being a photographer. I’m not very good at bullshitting. Going to a bar and chitchatting just isn’t my thing. I’m not funny, so that doesn’t help either. Even on the first casual introduction I get right into it and ask people what their life is all about, what they love and what bothers them. Sometimes that’s awkward when you are meeting someone for the first time. A bit too intense maybe, but when you are photographing somebody and they are willing to open themselves up to that, you sort of get to go on this journey together and go deeper than any other random contact. You get intimate in this very artistic way. You’re both human and into this together. Leibovitz did that in her pictures and she’s been a huge influence to me. The fact that she was able to go in and really look at somebodies personality, bringing it out in a way that you have the feeling you know the person on the photograph. She has a book called ‘Women’ and I love the fact that she spent an entire book on just women. Her book is about all kinds of women; working-class, high profile, you name it. And…it contains 117 portraits.  

How important is it for you to make this book? 
Much more important than I thought it would be. Maybe I helped making a historical record of what the gay movement was doing around this time. I think that’s important to put in a book. To capture gay history in California about butch women at this time. 

 

www.megallenstudio.com

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House of Trannies

House of Trannies

House of Trannies

Text JF. Pierets    Photos Ki Price

 

‘Out with political correctness! Tranny is an endearing and loving term used amongst the drag, lgbt and queer communities to describe anyone who is transvestite, dragqueen, or does not identify with any set gender role.’ There you go! House of Trannies is a collection of photographs, exciting tableaux, which explore the most colorful individuals and the families within the East London tranny & drag community. A unique collaboration between acclaimed artist Ted Rogers and celebrity portrait photographer Ki Price. 

 

So no worries about the word Tranny? 
Ted Well, this question comes up a lot. I think it depends on how you use the word. It’s the same way as when you say ‘gay’. When you call me ‘gay’ in an affirmative way, it’s perfectly fine. But if you say ‘that’s so gay’, in a negative way, it’s not. It’s very easy to turn a word into a negative affirmation. When I started this project, ‘tranny’ was a very positive word. It’s a loving word. For me and my friends it means ‘brother’, or ‘sister’, or ‘my non-gender descriptive friend’. It’s not offensive. And it’s also not something to use as a slur against transgender people. If the word ‘tranny’ would be offending all over the world, then I wouldn’t be out to distress anyone. But for me it’s still very widely used and there shouldn’t be a problem. And it shouldn’t be made into a problem either. If the rest of the world is going politically correct than maybe we should just fuck it. Just go against it and have fun.

You call yourself a Tranny.
Ted I call myself a Tranny because it’s an ‘in between’ word. You can also call me a dragqueen, yet I don’t quite do what is considered drag. I don’t always wear a wig and I leave on my facial hair. So you can call me a lazy dragqueen, or you can call me a tranny. My aim is not to look like a girl. My aim is to express my feminine aspects. I like to show them. Why shouldn’t I float around, show a leg or wear lipstick if that makes me feel sexy? Tranny is a word that goes beyond the box.

Isn’t it quite an unusual collaboration, the two of you? 
Ki Yes and no. As a photographer I come from a documentary news background so I used to do a lot of social issues, a lot of stuff that had to do with drugs. I grew up with bohemian parents in a druggy environment, so it was kind of natural. You photograph what you see, what you know. I’m massively into sub-cultures and I do understand the principle of being looked at differently in life. Ted’s an old friend of mine, and a tranny, and we wanted to do a shoot together.
Ted The two of us, it’s indeed a weird combination. But it works! We met via mutual friends and since we seem to have quite a few affinities we started to chat, hang out.

Ki, you are working, amongst others, for The Times and Vanity Fair, you won the Canon prize for Best Image of London Fashion Week and your is work featured in Vivienne Westwood’s Memoirs. How was it to shoot a project like this? 
Ki Well, it’s probably the best thing I ever shot. And I felt both greatly privileged and humble to be involved. Initially I’m an outsider, but when I shot Ted in the safe shop with the dog, we knew that the pictures would stand out. We knew that what we were creating was good. We believed in it and we were certain that other people would get involved. And the feedback I got was that they liked working with me, that they felt the love on the set. It wasn’t about trannies. It was about catching people’s emotions.
Ted It was about home, about a family.

‘Family’ means the people from Sink The Pink (themed London-based party collective made up of dancers, drag queens, colorful club kids and fashion trannies. Ref.)? 
Ted Sink The Pink was my birth. Literally. I got asked to do a job for them as a dancer. Later they asked if I wanted to join the rehearsals and do drag with them. Now I’m doing it all the time. It’s such a colorful crowd of people. If you can go to a place where it’s encouraged to be loving and to be positive, than that’s the place you have to go to,  to be yourself and to be free. You don’t have to be rich to be part of the East London club scene because you can be rich in creativity or imagination.
Ki So the idea behind the shoot was to celebrate that particular scene. Because of its overall positivism and loving experience.

You both particularly talk about the East London club scene. Is it a fairly new scene? 
Ki The club scene always moves in waves. Living in London for so many years, the tranny scene wasn’t new to me. It’s almost even like it became trendy again. The interesting thing about the East London club scene is that in order to really indulge in it, you have to have courage. It’s a bit rawer than other drag groups. It’s very sexually liberated and not everybody has the guts to endure the insinuating looks that are thrown upon you. You have to have the imagination to go out and do it.
Ted For me it’s more or less a new scene. I’m quite young – I turned 23 just yesterday – and I only moved to London 2 years ago. There’s really not much for gay people in the suburbs of the UK. There are maybe some parts, on the outside of London or any mayor cities there, but there is really no gay scene at all. When I first came to London I went to Soho because I was told that it was the gay capital of the UK. I went on my own because I didn’t know any gay people nor did I have any gay friends.

How courageous.
Ted Well, courageous or stupid. Anyhow, I didn’t always enjoy Soho because I found it a little bit old-fashioned. Not hugely, but a little bit. The first East London club I went to was the Joiners Armes, which is recently shut down. It was the first gay club I’ve ever been to, where I felt like….happy. People wanted to talk to you, wanted to dance with you and they didn’t want to fight with you. That was my experience when it comes to the difference between East and West. Yet if that same group of people would move to the North, than it would be called the North London club scene.

Ki, you said the tranny scene is becoming trendy again. Can you elaborate? 
Ki It can become trendy and people can come and watch it, but it will never become mainstream. It’ll always have that raw edge to it, and when something becomes conventional, it usually gets boring. I don’t think the East London club scene is ever going to become boring. It might have a wave of becoming less trendy, but it’s so full of designers, artists, musicians, producers that it’s always going to have that new creativity flowing through. I think it has the potential to last forever. And even if it shifts to another part of London, that kind of scene is always going to be there.
Ted Anytime something good happens, it’s going to become trendy. Things don’t become trendy because they’re mediocre.  Like I said, I’m fairly new to all this and the way I look at it, it’s a response to the overall perception that society has on certain things. I genuinely believe that if there’s a powerful force that shows people who are having fun and expressing themselves in an attractive way, that it can change the world. It really has the power to liberate people.

 

 

 

‘If you can go to a place where it’s encouraged to be loving and to be positive, than that’s the place you have to go to, to be yourself and to be free. You don’t have to be rich to be part of the East London club scene because you can be rich in creativity or imagination.’

The Joiners Armes recently shut down, like many other gay clubs in London. What’s happening? 
Ki They’re making place for .. new flats. London is rapidly changing and a lot of the gay clubs are closed because of expansion. It’s getting quite ugly. When you go to Soho in the future, you’re going to stay in a hotel in the middle of Soho. But the hotel where you are going to stay has knocked down all the culture that is around you. Soho is a mix of everything that is vibrant. It seems pointless to stay in a hotel, where you’re supposed to be seeing culture, but  where nothing is left. Don’t you think? What’s the point? Where’s the thinking and the intelligence? 
Ted I have two views on this. One is that it’s a natural thing. Areas will always become popularized, money will always take over and they don’t care about culture anymore. But two is that it’s actually very sad and there should be a preservation of culture. It’s not that I’m against money, it just can’t be the primary focus. It’s really sad that all these clubs are shut down because they need to build new flats. New flats that no-one can afford anyway. My generation, people my age, might as well give up their dream of ever owning property unless you are really, really successful. And I would like to have property but you’re supposed to accept that you shall never get a house. It makes me a bit angry that they shut down the places where we feel safe to go. Just because of money. But unfortunately the world is not as liberal as it thinks it is. 

Do you have the feeling that by shooting ‘House of Trannies’, you made a time document? 
Ki Definitely. As a photographer, I call myself a social anthropologist and I wanted to take portraits of real people. When you’re looking at drag series you often see some incredible stuff but you see quite some flat stuff as well. For me it wasn’t obvious to do this because I’m not gay nor was I part of that particular scene. But I knew that we could both make a very stylish shoot, and be realistic in the people we portrayed. Of course we made up a setting, but the people aren’t made up. It’s who they really are. 
Ted And it’s not a fantasy world. It’s the real world. For me the emphasis had to be on celebrating people. Not about creating an image and using the people as Barbie dolls. That’s another thing I like, yet not what we wanted to do with this project. 
Ki Ted kept on saying to me that the pictures had to show the love. 
Ted For me it’s one of the chances to give back to the people who have given me a new life, really. I mean, I was so bored. So bored of life and it was so hard to live in London and then last year I get to do this job for these people and six months along the line I’ve been everywhere. With these wonderful, colorful people who totally changed my perspective on life. Totally reintegrated my hope, my faith in creativity and fun. People who are not afraid to have and express their emotions and feelings. That’s why it was so important that the series was real. Trannies are out worldly creatures, they are next level beings, beyond what you would ever expect. I think it’s a privilege for anyone to be able to even become a part of it. 

 

www.artpornblog.com
www.kiprice.com

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The Vivid Angel

The Vivid Angel

The Vivid Angel

Text JF. Pierets

 

She’s the queen of alternative performance, won the Twisted Cabaret Crown World Burlesque Games in 2014 and is this edition’s cover model. But most important, sometimes you just meet one of those people who make you think YAY! 

 

How does one become a performer? 
When I was 20 I moved to Amsterdam and started my performance career. At a certain moment I’d done so many things, as a dancer and artist I had been on television for so many times that I wanted something different. I was working with Torture Garden and they asked me to come to London, because of all the work I would be able to do. So I went. I’m living here for 16 years already despite my intention to stay only for 2. Back then there used to be not as many performers as there are today. I’m talking about the year 2000 now. I guess we had about 10 or 15 really great performers. So I was always working, always abroad. Nowadays it looks as if there are way more people wanting to be an artist then 5 years ago. And as it usually goes, the party promoters rather fancy a lot of girls for less money than one or two very professional ones with a normal salary. But I’m not complaining. The year just started and I already have a good list of new assignments and bookings.

There’s a lot of burlesque these days, which is completely different than performance art. 
There is a lot of burlesque and a lot is the same all over again. I guess it gets the audience and promoter confused and they don’t quite recognize the stylings anymore which goes from performance art to cabaret to burlesque. For me those are all different kinds of shows. I do wish that those younger performers would do a little research. Looking what other people do, or have done, and trying to be a bit more original. Really find your own stories and styling for you shows, it gives for a longer career.

Can you specify what it is that you do? 
I call myself a ‘Jack of all trades’. I basically started out as a dancer in the beginning of the nineties, being a full time gogo dancer on Dutch television. When the rave scene commenced I danced at biggest house parties and finally ended up working in a fetish store called DeMask. 3 month later I found myself on a stage with my own show. A show performed in the fetish scene in which you can just ad that twitch of extra darkness to the act. Compared to a mainstream production, that is. In my first show someone laid dead on a bed, a second person would cut open the body and I would jump out as some kind of revenge spirit. For me it was a very important point in my career because I got to work with the artist called Crazy White Sean. We were both beginners when it came to performance art but we really felt each other when it came to designing new shows. 10 years later they called us ‘the most famous couple in the fetish scene’, he emerged into freak shows and I became The Vivid Angel. I’ve been performing at the largest festivals, in the biggest clubs. I worked with Alice Cooper, Dita Von Teese, Roger Taylor, you name it. I did and still do very exciting things. 

Do tell!
I have a show called Art Noir where I’m creating a painting, live on stage, by using syringes and injecting coloring pigment through my skin. This particular show has been reviewed as ‘suffering for your art’ and you can take that quite literally. I’m going through a pain phase to manufacture that painting. Most of the time those kind of shows are my favorite ones because they are not about entertainment. I generate this surreal world where I try to bring the audience in an atmosphere that’s out of their comfort zone. But no worries. I also have an entertaining side to my personality and I also love doing shows where I can make people laugh, where all is beautiful. 

That’s very bilateral.
That’s why I chose to use The Vivid Angel as my name. The vivid is my dark, weird, crazy side and the angel is the sweet, fun and sexy appearance. I always felt those two features both in my being, as in my performance career. 

Both mainstream and non-mainstream? 
There are not many non-mainstream performance artists. I have the feeling not many people dare to be confronting or extreme nowadays. I have this show about school bullying which you can, by all means, call autobiographical because those were terrible years. Doing that show really get’s to people. Some say after the show that they didn’t like it, while months later they confess that after doing some thinking, it really got to them. And I think that’s the difference between performance art and entertainment. What I do is not only beautiful and easy to digest. But I do hope the tendency will once again reach back to performance art because it’s an honest and very emotional art form. And if well represented, it’s one of the most beautiful things you can witness on a stage. I always find it very interesting to hear what people encounter after seeing my shows. I have my opinion about it and I’m always pretty sure the message is quite clear, yet that’s not always the case. When I was doing my Art Noir show it always astounded me what people made of it. One woman even told me it was about the circumcision of African women. And although I’m listening with amazement to these stories, they are ok. If she get’s that message and it get’s her to think about the phenomenon, that’s ok. As an artist you have to live with the fact that people project there own horrors, joys and everyday life issues to your work. That’s the beauty about being a performer, unconsciously you touch certain spots which you never would foresee. People don’t have to like you when you are on stage because it’s nice to encounter the challenge to get them excited and curious about the world and environment you are creating at that particular time. Whether it’s beautiful, ugly or scary. It keeps me humble and appreciative for every given moment that I can share my art, even after 20 years. 

20 years is a long time. Are you still performing fulltime? 
Not fulltime, no. Since long I’ve been writing a theatre play involving acting, video and word, which I love to exhibit in a small theatre or gallery. The piece itself is about the tide of life and the rolling about until that one moment where you just break through boundaries and limits. I’m also planning to write a book about my performances and myself. The crazy situations I’ve been in and the ludicrous moments I’ve encountered. But also hints and tips for people who have the ambition of being an artist. Next to that I’m working on a book about Crazy White Sean, whom I’ve been telling you about, and who sadly passed away recently. 

Aren’t you going to miss the stage? 
Well, I won’t quit entirely because like they say, ‘there’s no bigger addiction than a stage’. Over the 20 years on the podium I had busy and less busy times. And of course in those fewer active junctions you start longing to get back up there. I read a note the other day, stating that if an artist stops performing or painting, he or she commits emotional suicide. And that’s very true. The hunger to throw out your sentiment will always be there. Luckily I have more tools at my disposal than only being a stage performer. It’s time to project my energy into other creative outlets. Maybe I’ll take up painting again and combine it with performance, who knows. There are many ways to go and  there’s no lack of activity or inspiration in all those future plans. It’s time to note down some document. Time to take some further steps. I still like working in clubs but I became more selective when it comes to locations and people I want to work with. People who know me and respect my work. But I came into a phase in which I don’t necessarily have to be everywhere. I think I became way too experienced to drop into yet another small club where nothing is arranged and not one thing you asked for is at hand. That said, the stage keeps on being the best spot to exorcist my demons. 

Otherwise you might have been a serial killer. 
O goodness, who knows? But having a creative outlet, which you don’t respond to, eats you alive in the long run. That’s true. 

When I look at you I don’t see the average diva. 
And glad not to be! I might be a Queen, but I not a diva. Every time I go on stage, it feels like the first moment all over again. And to be honest, I don’t want to get used to it. I have artist friends who are ‘just going through the moves’, I would hate that! It makes you very humble when you have to promote your own shows to the venues. The show is just part of the whole package. You have to do your own bookings, write your own invoices, make the deals, etc. And sometimes that’s a pity because it stops you from being entirely, exclusively creative. Which sharpens the pink edges that would normally smoothen the transaction between you and your audience. But.. if you have the opportunity to be a full time artist, it’s a beautiful choice to make. 

 

 

‘Every time I go on stage, it feels like the first moment all over again. And to be honest, I don’t want to get used to it. I have artist friends who are ‘just going through the moves’, I would hate that! ’

Talking about choices, your performances have a lot to do with physical pain. Why does one do that? 
When I first began I never thought I was about to start using needles and syringes. I was more the horror-effect and illusion kinda gal. It was always fake. But when I came to London and got to work with Miss Behave and Lucy Fire we designed a witch show. We all had our own ‘powers’. Lucy was good with fire, Amy swallowed swords and I was into blood effects. But then the others decided to begin the show with putting out a cigar on your tongue. And although I didn’t want to do it, I was kind of pushed into it. After a while I thought it might be great to actually master those skills and I started practicing. Slowly I started to intervene little things into my own shows and that’s when I got the question to perform a freak show. In 2005 there was this movement where people were really interested in seeing freak shows performed by woman, and there weren’t many performers fitting the bill, so there you go. I think once you’re able to cross the boundaries of pain, you’re capable of doing a lot of things. Needless to say the first time I stuck a needle in my arm was pretty weird. I’m not a masochist at all and the ‘pain versus pleasure’ concept is wasted on me. But I realized I could take it, and all of a sudden it was more of a ‘mind over matter’ thing. As soon as I realized that my mind is stronger than my body and that my mind has control over my body, I was able to take it to the next level. I like it when people can see that I’m actually in pain in order to create my art. That said, I must be honest and confess that I sometimes terribly injure myself during one of the shows.

What does such a thing to your body? 
Well of course I have to be very careful with what I do. I never drink alcohol before a show because if you become less attentive or arrogant, you can really hurt yourself. But then again, some things are beyond your control. Fire for instance. You have quite little influence on fire, if you start to think about it. Fire does what it does and you have to learn to work around it. In my entire career I got terribly burned a couple of times. On my mouth, my arms, by just being that itch too quick or being a tad too negligent. Or people from the club that are leaving the airco on, well, you know what happens then. I also use a lot of piercings and staples on stage and like my boyfriend always says: ‘It doesn’t make her prettier’. Over the few years I gained so many scars that it’s quite a sight when I get a tan during summer. When people tell me they are interested in performing these kind of shows, I always ask them if they are ready to get marked. When you stick needles in your skin or you jump on broken glass, you always have to keep in mind that there will come a day when it goes wrong. Once I was unable to walk for 3 months because I cut my foot that deeply. Let’s say there’s a price to pay. 

You must have developed a different view on external beauty.
A few years ago I involuntarily got into a fight. They knocked me down and I hit my head on the street, there was a big jaw in my face and my front teeth were in pieces. I had a lot of photo shoots for catalogues going on in that time. And I remember waking up, scared that all was finished and things could never be restored. But of course it does. And what I learned is that beauty doesn’t come in a framework. It’s what you carry in your soul. If you manage to be happy with whom you are, if you have self-esteem, than that’s your most attractive feature. My outer shell doesn’t really matter to me. Let’s say I grew out of it. I don’t look like the average woman yet I find myself in the possession of an interesting face. People love it or hate it and therefor beauty is not something that I dwell on. What I love to hear from people is that I have charisma when on stage. And that’s the main thing as a performer, isn’t it? Don’t get me wrong, I always want to look good and want to make a good impression, but I know I will never be your typical Burlesque beauty.

Are you happy?
I really am. I lost a lot of beautiful friends in the past two years, which made it a very emotional ride, and I experienced a pretty rough childhood. But I use that sentiment in my art. I try to develop all those bumpy roads and negativity into a story that I hope people can use for the good. But like I said, I made some changes recently and I would like to cut down to one show a week instead of three, and take more time to write my play and my book. Discovering new horizons and looking for people who want to join me in this new adventure. 

Exciting times!
O yes! And I’m scared shitless! But if I have to choose one thing I really would like to accomplish, then it’s that theatre play. Last year I was able to work with the English National Opera House on Mozart’s Cosi Fan Tutte and that made me really proud. It was literally a dream come true to stand in the West End. Every time I went up those tube escalators I faced all these production posters of those big shows and I always thought ‘one day!’ I was so proud to work with such a solid firm and with all those award-winning professionals. And the Coliseum theatre is so beautiful that I started to cry when I first entered the stage. It is very different you know, performance art and theatre. And I hope I learned enough to make my own interpretation. It’s scary, but it’s something I really have to go for, how nerve wrecking it might be. So ’Put your head down and get to it girl!

 

www.thevividangel.biz

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Amanda Filipacchi

Amanda Filipacchi

Amanda Filipacchi

Text JF. Pierets

 

I was 20 when I read Nude Men and I instantly got hooked on the surreal imagination of this New York based writer. 21 years and 3 novels later there is The Unfortunate Importance of Beauty, and Filipacchi hasn’t lost an inch of her wit and dreamlike tale telling. On the contrary, her latest novel is a genuine work of originality and creativity. Needless to say I was thrilled to talk to her. A conversation about beauty, feminism and our shared fascination in the dictionary method.

 

Your readers are forced to be patient. It’s been 10 years between Love Creeps and your new book The Unfortunate Importance Of Beauty. Why did it take you so long?
It’s indeed a long time, but first of all, I take a long time with all my novels. Much longer than I would like to. Each time, I think it’s going to be faster next time, but then, well, it isn’t. Also, each novel is longer than the last. Not the finished product, but my first drafts, which this time around was almost twice as long as the final version. It’s like writing two novels. And the third thing is that I had some health problems I had to deal with. Life problems that got in the way.

The Unfortunate Importance Of Beauty wasn’t supposed to be a book about beauty?
I noticed a pattern in my life; things I wrote about, things that were completely invented, would sometimes come true. So I thought (but only half-seriously) that I’d better be careful and maybe only write about good things, in case they happen later. Turns out, I didn’t stick to that for long, luckily for the reader. In the beginning I thought it was going to be a book about a group of artistic friends. I intended to give each character a story of equal weight. But as I was creating my characters, there was one detail, one characteristic, I bestowed on my main character just for the fun of it: great beauty. I half-jokingly thought, “You never know, it might rub off on me a little.” Her great beauty was meant to be a small, unimportant detail, and I didn’t expect it to grow into one of the main themes of the novel. But it did. It wasn’t something I planned because in general I’m really not that interested in how people look.

“Maybe if I’m lucky it will rub off”. How important is beauty to you?  
I meant that in a joking way because beauty is not that important to me. At all! And that’s one thing I find a little disturbing about some of the interviews and articles that have been published about me. Due to the fact that my novel is about beauty, that’s naturally the main thing I’m asked about in interviews. And when I read those interviews later, I feel that I come off as being really preoccupied by beauty, when the truth is actually the opposite. If you compare me to anyone you know, really anyone, you will notice that I seem to care less about how I look than almost anyone. I dress like a dork, I never shop for clothes, I wear sweatpants all the time and I haven’t worn make-up in two decades. But some of the readers of the media coverage have sent me e-mails saying things like, “You look fine! You’re quite pretty! So stop worrying about it, ok?!”  It’s very nice of them, but I wish they realized that I probably give less thought to my appearance than they do to theirs. 

Hearing you describe the way you look almost sounds like a statement.
It’s more laziness. I used to wear makeup in my 20’s and I couldn’t understand how a woman could not wear make-up because I thought women looked so much better with it. But then suddenly I had to start wearing glasses. And I thought; what’s the point? Glasses ruin the whole effect anyway. So at that point I stopped wearing makeup and that’s basically it. It wasn’t a statement. It was more like a giving up. And eventually my taste changed and I started thinking women looked better without makeup anyway. Despite not caring much about my own appearance, I am interested in the role beauty plays in our society and in human relationships—the unfortunate importance it has in those areas. But there are also plenty of other topics I’m interested in. In fact, there are topics in this book that I’m more interested in than the beauty aspect. For example the whole creativity topic. Trying to achieve excellence in your art, the feeling that you’re almost reaching something supernatural. I love that idea.

What do you do when you don’t write?
Usually I’m trying to get myself to write. I have trouble with discipline so I’m always trying to think of new ways to trick myself into doing more writing. But if you’re asking about other activities, then I must say that I love to ski, so usually in the winter we go skiing. I like to travel, I love interesting conversations with people. I take long walks every day while listening to audiobooks or just thinking about how to get myself to write more. Sometimes I do my daily walk with a friend and we catch up on each other’s lives. That’s about it.

You are using all different kinds of methods to get yourself to write. Do you start your imagination by putting limits on yourself?
I don’t know if it can be called a limit. It’s rather something that forces you to think in a different direction. When I wrote Love Creeps, I became really addicted to what I call “the dictionary method.” I was using it constantly. For every new twist in the story I got inspiration from random words in the dictionary. I actually became worried and was wondering if I was ever going to be able to write without using this dictionary method. So I decided not to allow myself to use it for my next novel. Just to see how it turned out. For The Unfortunate Importance Of Beauty, I didn’t use it once, and to my relief that was ok. I was less an addict than I thought I was. Even though I think my strong point as a writer is my imagination, I did notice that when I used the dictionary method, it seems to trigger new and sometimes even more unusual ideas. Even when I thought I had come up with every possible option for a certain scene, really gone over every possibility, still when I picked a word randomly out of the dictionary it generated new and interesting ideas I’m convinced I wouldn’t have thought of without that method. 

You also had a method where you were only eating when writing?
Well, I used that method for only about a minute and then I gave it up, so it didn’t work out very well.

Does life influence your writing?
I think it does. When I wrote Love Creeps, I’d gone through some pretty bad relationships and hadn’t been very lucky in love, so I put all of that in the book. Not the specific experiences, because I almost never write anything autobiographical, but all my pessimism about love went into the book.

 

Why not write autobiographically? Is it too personal or are you afraid to jinx your life?
I think I don’t find it interesting enough. My recent New Yorker essay, ‘The Looks You’re Born With and the Looks You’re Given’, is the first really autobiographical thing I have ever written. I must say that I have discovered that it’s so much easier and faster to write nonfiction (or autobiographical fiction) because most of the material is already there and doesn’t need to be invented. But I think I will always prefer to make things up in my fiction because I enjoy inventing, creating something entirely new, from scratch, that did not already exist in some form in my life. I like startling myself by coming up with ideas I find original.

 

 

 

‘There are topics in this book that I’m more interested in than the beauty aspect. For example the whole creativity topic. Trying to achieve excellence in your art, the feeling that you’re almost reaching something supernatural.’

What’s your experience regarding being a woman in literature?
I don’t know if this is true, but I’ve heard it said by someone in the literary world that publishers are far less willing to publish long novels by women than long novels by men. Do you know the organization VIDA: Women in Literary Arts? Every year they count the numbers of men vs. women whose books were reviewed in various publications. The numbers are very depressing. Far more men get reviewed than women, and “the count” helps to bring attention to this unfairness which is based on sexism and subconscious gender-bias. It’s important that men and women get reviewed with equal frequency because when women don’t get reviewed as often or as prominently as men, it creates a whole chain reaction that results in far fewer women than men going down in history and being remembered for achievements that are actually of equal worth to men’s.
I recently read Siri Hustvedt’s novel, The Blazing World, in which she describes the Goldberg Study, which was a real study done in 1968: “Women students evaluated an identical essay more poorly when a female name was attached to it than when a male name was attached.” The same results were found when the study was repeated in 1983. When a female book reviewer compiles and publishes her list of her 10 favorite books of the year, and 9 out of 10 of the books on that list happen to be written by men, I hope she asks herself whether she might not be experiencing some degree of subconscious prejudice against female authors. (And this, of course, applies equally to male reviewers.)
We are all very sexist toward women, even those of us who think we’re not. We can’t help it, because we’ve been conditioned from our earliest days. I consider myself a feminist, and yet I see sexism in myself often. Sexism probably can’t ever be completely eradicated, due to biological factors such as differences in physical strength and temperament, but it can be lessened, starting, for example, with paying attention to what kinds of messages we send out in children’s books. Both men and women are prejudiced against women. And it’s essential that we fight it, not only in others but in ourselves.

So you’re a feminist?
Oh yes!

Have you ever done anything to help the feminist cause?
A little bit. Do you know about the Wikipedia thing I was involved in?

No, I guess I missed that.
In April 2013 I wrote an Op-Ed for The New York Times because I noticed that on Wikipedia, female novelists were being taken out of the category called ‘American Novelists’, and being put in a sub-category called ‘American Women Novelists’. So only the men were being left in the general category. I was really shocked, and felt this was a truly unacceptable situation that should not be tolerated for one second longer. So I decided to write about it even though I knew I’d be putting myself at risk. My Op-Ed, called ‘Wikipedia’s Sexism Toward Female Novelists’, caused a huge uproar. Wikipedia came under a lot of criticism, and not just from the U.S. media, but from media in other countries too. As a result, I experienced what is known as “revenge editing”: hostile Wikipedia editors pounced on the Wikipedia biography about me and started diminishing it and taking information out of it, until they were stopped by Wikipedia administrators. Thankfully, the page was not only restored but then also much improved by non-hostile Wikipedia editors. The most vicious of the attackers didn’t stop at ‘revenge editing’—he also spread horrific lies about me, until he was unmasked in the media and his lies were exposed. The whole experience was incredibly stressful and upsetting. That’s the kind of thing that can happen when you speak up against sexism.
This Wikipedia debacle drew more attention to the fact that female artists and writers have been neglected not only in the art and literary worlds, but also on Wikipedia. On average, the Wikipedia biographies of female artists and writers are less developed than those of their male counterparts, and also, a female artist or writer is less likely to have a Wikipedia biography than is a male artist/writer of equal accomplishment and notability. Several of the articles written about my Op-Ed stated that it increased awareness of the problem of sexism on Wikipedia. People started doing Edit-a-thons, which consist of a lot of women (and men who support them) getting together in various places, sitting with their laptops and editing Wikipedia together, improving the entries on women. One such edit-a-thon happened at The Museum of Modern Art recently. I stopped by to check it out and found it uplifting. Another little thing I do as a feminist is sometimes tweet about VIDA. I try to support and encourage them.

A lot of people are afraid of getting their careers damaged when they speak up.
Even though I believe that most female writers consider themselves feminists, they often feel they have to be careful about speaking up publicly because if they speak up too much, it can turn against them. And they are probably right, sadly. I know many successful female writers who are feminists and they privately rant and rave about the depressing VIDA numbers and other injustices such as the sexism on Wikipedia, and yet they don’t want to speak up or write about it publicly because they don’t want to be seen as complaining. They are afraid of the repercussions on their careers. I am not immune to those fears. I have spoken up a bit, now and then, but I too have my limits. I don’t say as much as I would like to, for fear of the repercussions. And I greatly admire female authors who do speak up more than I have, who do complain, because they are putting themselves and their careers at risk while helping all female authors.

Do you find it important what people think of you?
Yes, I care about what people think of me and of my work. I assume most writers do. I love it when people like my work, but then again, what writer doesn’t? I’m not one of those writers who can say they’ve always written, from their earliest days. I never had an urge to write stories until I was forced to do so at the age of 13.  In school there was a class in which you had to write one short story every week. That’s when I discovered I had this talent, that I was better at this than at anything else I had done in my life—at least based on the reactions of teachers in school and of other adults who read my work. Their reactions gave me such a high, that’s when I decided to become a writer. Before that, starting at the age of eight, I loved reading novels and I greatly admired anyone who could write a whole novel because I thought that must be the most difficult thing in the world. I never thought I could, or would, do it myself, nor did I have any urge to even try. But nevertheless I was very imaginative. I made up a lot of stories for my brother. I just never wrote them down.

What’s your number one reason to write?
To be happy. Many things about it make me happy. When I come up with ideas I really like, I find that very exciting. And part of what makes it exciting is imagining how people will react to them, whether they will like them or not. I don’t write fiction only for myself. And if anyone claims that they are only writing for themselves, I suspect they are probably deluding themselves. So I’m writing to be happy. It gives me a sense of accomplishment and a sense of satisfaction, unmatched by anything else. And it makes me feel appreciated. I like the idea that people will enjoy my work and I always hope that I bring people pleasure.

The Unfortunate Importance Of Beauty is published by W. W. Norton & Company (February 16, 2015).

www.amandafilipacchi.com

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